Raining Under Heaven's Indulgence
by RedKinoko
Summary: A story about a boy, a girl, a very stereotypical plot, and how we whack the bejesus out of generic fanfiction. More genre-bashing inside. [R U HI IS A PARODY. Story Complete.]
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1. **

The nonchalant sun rose over Prontera the same way it always does at the start of almost every Ragnarok fanfiction. Whether or not there really is a sun in the skies of Midgard and why it never seems to set in some places, we may never know.

A young swordsman garbed in typical Izludean common garb stood on a cliff overlooking the town. He had a blue hair, which is of course the most defining visual aspect of almost every character in this story - yes, start memorising hair colors and commit them to memory as you would the bioman/power ranger team because you WILL be encountering more hair colours.

The swordie is very ordinary and doesn't have anything interesting in him - except that he has a dark past that, of course, won't be revealed until very later (in the most climactic way possible).

"Ah! Prontera! It's so biig!" shouted our hero as the city came into view.

It was an unsolicited interjection that was heard by nobody but he said it anyway to stress amazement. Probably, he said that because he's from Izlude and we all know Izlude is home to only three things: Begging novices, bad-smelling swordsmen and small crappy huts on stilts.

"I hope this thing works," said the swordie as he drew out a very ordinary coin that doesn't have any powers or past whatsoever, "Don't fail me, lucky charm coin."

Narrator stops to laugh at his own sarcasm

As he was walking towards the main road from the obscure cliff on a midget hill that only exists for eye candy purposes, he accidentally bumped into a green-haired huntress who, as the swordsman would have seen with his eyes out of their sockets and a bleeding nose, was barely wearing anything. Both fell to the ground because of the impact, because, well, it was a strong impact!

"Watch where you're going!" shouted the huntress.

"Yo... yo... yo... YOU'RE NAKED!" shouted the swordie, cheeks blood streaked and nose at the verge of sanguination.

The huntress shrugged. "Great job, Captain Obvious. Of course, I'm wearing a near-naked blouse and skirt set. I'm supposed to be the object of lust in this fic. Am I the only one with enough senses to see this? Hello? Fanservice?"

The swordie obviously didn't get what she had said so he just continued with his talk, "So, are you going to Prontera too?"

"Like I can say no? I'm supposed to be going with you or I wouldn't have been put here in the first place," sarcastically replied the barely clothed Huntress.

"Put here by who?" asked the swordie while scratching his noggin.

"Whatever. My name is Aima Jappa Nisa of Payon, but you can call me Jappa because the author is too damn lazy to type my long name again and again. I'm going to Prontera to become the number one archer in the whole wide world (or whatever is on the map as of this patch/episode)! Ichi ban!"

"Number one, just like all other protagonists in other fics! Wow!" exclaimed the swordie," And I, Gynn Erik DoubleWordedSurname shall become this world's greatest Swordsman!"

And so the two would-be-greats began to walk towards their goal, Prontera City.

An out of the blue seaborne wind blew towards the obscure cliff from where the swordie came from. A tall skinny bishounen bordering on metrosexual with black hair wearing black robes as any decent evildoer would was standing, watching the two.

"The clocks of Bau Ring and In Ven Tid are pointing at the direction of destruction, " whispered the black-haired man who probably really wont make sense till the later chapters since for now he's just mumbling symbolic bull that doesn't really have any narrative value other than to keep readers thinking, "my plan is foolproof... and... and.. hey, what the hell is Bishounen?"

But of course we all know anything that deemed foolproof by evil people wont be for long. I just hate slow-thinking evil villains.

Unable to really do anything because it's just the first chapter, he just laughed an evil laugh, the likes of which only heard (or read) from at most one evil person per fic, like Sauron, Lucifer, Loki and Mr. Squiggle (the man from the moon) - Congress is an exception. Why he needed to laugh didn't matter, it's a bad guy thing.

Doom is upon the Kingdom of Rune Midgard (SFX dum dum dum dumb!).

"Did you just hear a funny sound effect, Jappa?"

"No," The huntress replied, "Keep walking before I change my mind. I'm starting to hate this stupid fic already."

**End of Chapter.**

_**Mandatory Disclaimer: **  
R-U-HI is not intended to deface any fic by another author; that would be discrimination. This is intended to deface ALL. I tried my hardest to dwell within the realm of the banal, I really did. Primary sources are clichés that recur on a lot of stories that I've read online. If this fic still sounds like a wholesale mockery of your fic, well... -cocogel-happens. _

_This was originally posted in Ragnaboards. Parts of the story may have been edited due to rustic content and audience-specific jokes. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2.**

"Out of my way!" shouted a burly axe-wielding merchie, "This is my kill! You will die!"

The loud shouting stopped our two heroes on their tracks. In front of them, the merchant bearing an axe twice his size was running after a rocker. He hit it once, missed hit it again and finally landed a nice clean blow at the fiend. Unfortunately it was not strong enough to kill the Rocker. The overgrown insect hit back with the guitar and knocked the merchant off his feet.

Even while lying down and bleeding, the merchant was still screaming "Out of my way! This is my kill! I have the power!"

The blue-haired swordie stared at the merchant "Why does he keep on saying the same words?"

Jappa exhaled and replied, "that's coz the owner of that bot is stupid. And that only goes to show that the author is watching too much violent anime and has the lingual capacity of a retarded parakeet trained in a VHS rental shop."

"Ummm.. but why are there bots in this story if this story is supposed to be about something else?"

The huntress shrugged and smirked. "I have a hunch this is all part of the author's plan of injecting some of his stupid ideas in this poor-excuse-for-a-fic. That's another sign that the writer is suffering from faddism coupled with attention deficiency syndrome. If I were him I'd..."

Japp was finishing her sentence when a wave of blue energy directly ripped off from dragonball or whatever streaked a few inches (Yes, always inches away.) from the front of her and Gynn directly into the area where the bot was killing off oversized faded-green grasshoppers with wooden guitars, which is of course probably one of the dumbest concepts for an MMORPG enemy.

The bot vanished in an instant, leaving only a burnt circle on the ground and a few bits of jellopy from his stash. Gynn DoubleWordedSurname turned to check where the blast had come from and found a brown-haired evil-looking cowboy-mustached man in a white robe and funny-looking antennae that hardcores would dutifully correct me by saying "horns". His right arm was still smoking from the blast.

"What's a high-leveled GM doing here?" asked Gynn.

The GM stared at Gynn for a very long time, during which nothing seemed to move. Except for the proverbial camera doing spins and zooms or whatever.

And except maybe for Jappa.

"Hey, aren't you GM Valla from our author's other fic?" asked the huntress as she started to recognize the face.

Trance broken, the brown-haired GM replied, "Yeah, I WAS supposed to be a GM from Awakening Adam."

Jappa and the awe-struck Gynn approacehed the robed man.

Jappa then followed up her question, "then what the hell are you doing here in our fic?"

The man called Valla fanned his smoking right arm with his left hand and replied, "I'm currently out of work. The author put off working on A.A. just before my scene was about to be written just because he saw a cheap-ass tagalog film named "Gising na Adan" (translation: Adam is Awake, a very strong Euphemism if you still can't quite catch it). I'm a struggling character, I need to eat. Even if this fic is crappy, if it gives me more exposure, I'd bite it."

Jappa smirked. "We're on the same crappy boat then. Shall we continue with the story?"

"Oh, yeah!" the GM put on a serious face again. He stared at Gynn once more and replied in a deep, booming tone just to keep the mystery burning, "I'm watching you."

Another second passed and the GM just vanished, in his place, six gajillion Baphomets appeared.

"Whoah! That's a lot of nuts, erm, Baphomets!" shouted Gynn.

Jappa crossed her arms and made no attempt at moving. "Cheap plotdevice for a cheap story."

"I can do this," said the challenging swordie, "I'm supposed to be the protagonist so I can do this!"

And so the swordie attacked and killed off some baphomets but got cornered by the surviving Baphomets. And yes, that's about as vague as it gets. The author is assuming you can see what he is seeing so he doesn't need to describe anything. Use your imagination for crissakes. I don't even care how a swordie can kill Baphomets anymore.

Jappa still stood motionless from where she had been standing since the Baphos appeared. "Mention me after this pre-packed plot scene is over."

"Damn, this is over for me," said the worn-out swordie as twenty more devils circled him. But we all know it's never really over when the hero says stupid things like that. Dead giveaway.

And without further ado, a large blast of white energy from a nearby field exit wiped out the remaining Baphos.

A priest with flowing, skyblue hair stood at the end of the field where the blast had come from. He had strong Pronteran features, a pronounced nasal bone, well-tanned beach skin and hazel eyes.

Gynn immediately noticed the man and exclaimed "Hey, why is that man more manly than me? This is supposed to be MY fic."

"The name's Jan Konstantin, asshole. I'm supposed to be your rival/bestfriend in this fic, ergo, according the to the rules of manga an anime, I have to look hellot better than you. Also, I saved your ass so you are now indebted to me."

Though fallen and injured and being healed by Jan, Gynn's shook his fists in an angry fit.

"Hey, who you callin' asshole, asshole!"

Jan shrugged and then continued bandaging the wound. "I dunno. It comes with the character."

Jappa finally got tired of not being in the scene so she approached the two clueless dolts.

"Are you two finished with the mandatory quarrelsome introduction? You've eaten enough paragraphs already."

Jan looked at Gynn, both men sporting puzzled faces.

"What par-u-graph is she talking about?"

"Dunno. She's really weird. Pretty and half-naked but weird."

Jappa's blue eyeballs rolled from on corner of her eye to the other. "You know Mr. Jan Konstantin, your name really sounds mighty familiar, like it's from a mainstream movie character or something..."

Jan immediately took a defensive stance. "You must be imagining things! I'm as original as it gets! I'm an ex-priest with a mission to rid this world of demons trying to destroy mankind using my kick-ass exorcism spells."

"Riight. Cough Ripoff Cough" retorted the bored huntress, "somebody here should start considering creative juice transfusion. This fic is definitely not getting any better."

"I INVOKE THE POWER OF COINICIDENCE!" shouted the white-haired priest.

"Coincidence? Damn, I hate it when that happens."

After saying that, the huntress was silent. Why? Because I want her to stay that way! I am creative! I just happen to get a lot of direct inspiration from what I...  
ahem

Back to the story.

Then, more Baphomets appeared out of nowhere. How? I dont know! Plot device, dammit.

"Hey Jan, use your powerful light thingies again so this chapter can be finished already."

Jan shrugged. "I cant. There's a rule wherein allies become 10x weaker when transitioning from a bad guy to a good guy. It's a sidekick thing, sorry."

"Damn," replied the swordie. He then took out his lucky coin and said, "I guess this thing doesnt give me luck afterall."

Just then, an energy blast came from the coin and instantly wiped out the enemies in a very deus ex machina fashion. Sorry, no card drops in this story.

"Wow, I thought this coin was just an ordinary heirloom given to me by my grandfather to protect me in times of need."

inject sarcastic juices

Jan Konstantin looked at the glowing coin in disbelief. He whispered to himself, "It's the cursed ebon boyar coin of the half-god Anubis!"

The huntress then followed up, just to say that she wasn't being left behind for this chapter, "The what? That sounds lame."

And then Jan didn't say no more, because not saying what things meant when asked to do so is the essence of keeping something mysterious. "I'm coming with you guys now to whatever place this plot will be bringing us."

Jappa then nodded. "We'll be heading towards fan fiction hell for collaborating with this story. I hope you've already accepted that."

And so the duo has become a trio. And they are now ready to face their greatest challenge yet.

End.

_Author's Notes: More nonesensical narration for this chapter. Most of the items for this chap actually came from older half-week RB fics that didnt quite make it... of course, I just had to inject my own writing stupidity at some parts too, because hey, nobody sees your own stupidity better than you, but only months after everybody has seen it for themselves._

R U HI? I ask again **R U HI**?


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

_Dark clouds be gathered into the ebony sky  
And lightning rip many a tree asunder  
Ride the morrow wind and you will fly  
Your wake shall be followed with thunder_

I made this rap, from my mind  
And I am very very very kind

Spawn forth Nagdrassil,  
Hell's tree incarnate.

The man with plowed shoulder-length black hair in ebony dervish robes opened his eyes - twin spheres filled with flames of hatred and spite, voracious and ready to consume the world before it.

Planted firmly on the cliff grounds was an grotesque obsidian sword of an abysmal knight that would normally take two men to lift. The dark-haired figure gnashed his teeth as he stared at the storm-struck Prontera.

"You shall fall by the wrath of Ragnarok," he says to himself as he grasps his coin pendant, "Ragnarok of Naggdrasil, meet your master, The Black Boyar!"

And he laughed a laugh that made many a beast give out a blood-curdling scream out of fear.

He was malevolent, and this scene told everybody told about it. Even if he hasn't really done anything bad since the start of this story, you can tell, he's pure evil. Somehow, it doesn't even matter if his plan is as vague as your school's mission/vision; evil, they say, needs no specifics.

He lifted the impractically large sword with a tinge of difficulty and pointed it at the sky.

"Heaven be the witness to my rise to power. I shall rule this land until nothing is left of it but shadows and ashes!"

And then, lightning.

At about the same time, the three heroes finally reached the Pronteran Gates after two chapters of utter nonsense. Surprisingly, the place was still sunny. But that's just how things are.

"Say Jan, do you smell something burnt?" asked Gynn Erik.

The priest nodded, "but it's not from my clichéd chain-smoking though."

"Maybe this fic is being burned already somewhere in real life as an effigy of sorts. Either that or you're smelling whatever is left of the opening scene of this chapter," added Jappa.

The two guys shrugged at each other. She really was weird to them, saying things that didn't even exist in their superb make-believe world. But that she was naked was enough for them to believe whatever she's saying. Hey, if it's coming from a near-naked lady, it should be either true or extremely cruel or both.

When they came a hundred feet away from the gate, they noticed that it has been sealed shut. Just in front of a gate stood a familiar figure. Well, you know who he is. I mean, how many characters have I introduced to you since the start of the story?

"I see that you're still alive, a good thing since we don't have dragonballs in this story. Good replacements are hard to get nowadays, even with the massive layoffs from them fly-by-night fics."

"Why did you try to kill us!" shouted Gynn in an angry fit, "we almost got killed!"

Ima Jappa turned her barenaked back at the conversation and plopped herself under a rather comfortable shade of a tree, "One extra-mundane verbal dueling of the obvious, coming up."

Valla laughed at the question, "I was just testing you."

"I'll make you pay!" shouted the swordie as he posed to attack, "take this! Kyaah!"

"I'll make you may too!" followed up the priest, "take this too! Kyaah!"

(This is getting really stupid, I know. I'm starting to blush.)

With one hand the GM setup an invisible field around him and threw both fighters to the ground.

"I'm not your enemy. I'm just here to give you your mission. That lucky coin you are holding is the key to defeating Nagdrassil. That coin is the perfect contra for the evil coin of the Black Boyar."

Dum dum dum dumbbb 

Suddenly, the swordies frustration turned into enthusiasm, as though he had been talking to an old friend and completely disregarding the fact that he really did nearly get killed last chapter because of the GM. (Yeah, right.)

"THE BLACK BOYAR?" replied the three adventurers in perfect unison.

Dum dum dum dumbbb

"Yes, if you don't stop him, he will destroy this world for some cheapass reason he got from his troubled childhood," followed up the GM, "the fate of this fic, erm, the world is now up to you."

Jappa, in the same no-fun manner that she always delivers, replied:

"Wait a minute. Why us? Why not you? Isn't it the job of GMs to like, fight bad guys and stuff?"

Valla smiled. "Well, two things actually. First, this is your story. There are no other characters around here other than you, the bad guy, and me. There is a rule that commissioners like me aren't supposed to do the fighting and bad guys aren't supposed to side with good guys unless they're supposed to die an expected death. And secondly, my shift is almost up."

The huntress then brushed off the conversation. "Makes perfects sense...cough asswad"

Feeling a sense of indignation - as would any protagonist, Gynn Eric Doubleword finally took on the challenge.

"So where do I find this man?"

The GM smirked. "You don't find him, he finds you."

"Damn," said the agitated priest, "my priestly sense is saying that he's already here!"

From atop a tower, a dark figure emitting black smoke stood and stared down upon our heroes.

"I'll teach you all a lesson that you'll never forget!"

A blast of red energy came out of the Boyar's hands. Red, because I believe it's the System Internationale (IS) spectral wavelength standard for evil. (Also probably because the author of this fic bears the same word in his name and he knows damn right that what he's doing is evil. Symbolism 101.)

Then, a splatter of blood beyond the capacity of any human anatomy showered all over the heroes.

"Now that one of you is dead, dare you still fight me? " asked the black-haired evil dude.

"Dead? Who? " asked the blood-soaked Valla.

"Not me." confirmed Gynn Erik as he searched his body for holes. Heroes never get targeted by instakill death rays.

"Not me." seconded Valla. Deep inside, it was a good thing. He could probably hit the author for another appearance in the next chapter. (or so he thinks. Quite frankly, nobody likes overpowered GMs. At least, I don't.)

"As much as the author really hates me, he can't just remove the only sexually stimuling character here so, " replied the huntress, "Not me."

"Not..." said Jan. He didn't get to finish the word though because he needed to cough out the requisite black blood from his mouth. He didn't fall at once though, it wasn't enough that his reaction is so badly delayed, he just had to straddle a few steps before actually collapsing.

"How... how could this have happened? This story has barely started. And I look better than Gynn! Ugh!"

Gynn cleared his throat. "Since the start of this fic I haven't really acted like a hero so at least allow me to explain. The fic is doing badly right now so we need to kill of somebody. Also, as main protagonist, I really need the motivation of revenge to get really fired up. My bad. It happens to all sorts of stories. Superman, Harry Potter, Mistah - it works so damn well so I don't see why we should differ from it. 

Melodramatic piano starts playing

Boyer snapped his fingers. "Hello? I'm supposed to be inciting anger by now. Focus, people."

Piano stops, bits of "oh, yeah" echo in the background, scary choir tune resumes

Meanwhile, the huntress and the GM were just standing behind the swordie and the dying priest. "So why are you doing nothing GM? Aren't you supposed to be stronger than the three of us combined?"

"My shift's over. I'm just here for the show and the pay. And besides, we all know nobody ever dies in stories like this. Either they get resurrected sometime in the future as a good/bad guy or some alternate time or obscure artifact allows them to live again," replied the GM in a monotone.

As for the priest, his time was almost up. But not quite yet. For every dying hero, there's a mandatory_ l' ultimar oracion n'grande. _

"Gynn, I know where I'm going and I can already see the white light. I want to return to where I came from; where it all started. When I was a kid I used to play in the..."

And he went on to deliver one of the longest death speeches in known history. The narrator fell asleep during that time so the entire speech won't be included here. Fortunately, the narrator wasn't the only person bored.

"Just die already!" shouted the boyar as he fired another shot at the dying priest.

"NOOOOO!" shouted Gynn as he saw the body of his friend burn from the blast. "DAMN YOU!" 

The Black Boyar just laughed. "If you want to get your revenge, come to Glast Heim castle in less than three days."

"Why three days?" asked Jappa.

The black-haired evil man then took out a calendar. "Oh that's because some big-shot author is supposed to use GH as a set after three days. It's a busy time of the year for good spots in GH. SO YOU HAVE TO MEET ME THERE OR YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN! MWAHAHAHA!"

And with that, the evil priest disappeared.

That moment, there was fire in Gynn's eyes. Revenge was at hand.

(Narrator throws up from all the clichés. Don't you just hate writing doldrums, dangling, middle-of-nowhere chapters? I do.)

End of Chapter.

_Author's notes:_

obviously faked European phrase, but hey, nobody ever really knows your messing around unless you see a real lichtensteinian rb'er. Call it autolinguistics - a language only you can identify as complete bullcrap. Noteworthy for writers running out of ideas - hellot better than trying to mess with a real language using babelfish and ending up saying "my mother's cow is rancid". For more examples, see the literary warmachine that is Harry Potter

this chapter reflects the level of stress I am currently experiencing at work. So Im not making any further efforts to make it better. Effigys werent meant to be beautiful anyway.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_Glastheim Castle, 1200h _

As our two heroes went to Glast Heim in search of revenge, the black boyar sat comfortably in a stone-slab throne in a dark place waiting for the hero to accept his invitation.

Yes, he's actually doing nothing while he's waiting for Gynn's arrival. Why he doesn't get a better wallpaper, cozier furniture and proper lighting or cable TV is beyond my reasoning. With great evil, they say, comes horrible taste. 

Around his throne lay countless shards of countless wineglasses that have been shattered time and again on the hands of so many who had sat on the throne room. (Bad housekeeping, tsk tsk) 

"Evil Angel and Dark Warrior, come forth," commanded the evil man in black. He chuckled to himself, "I just love those names - unique and scary as hell."

Two men stepped out of the shadows. In fics like this, shadows are the best place to store informants, henchmen and unidentifiables. One of them looked inhumanly thin as though he had used the Dragon 77 Miracle Reducing Cream a little too much while the other looked as though his own muscles could choke him to death just by expanding simultaneously. And we all know what happens to characters with less than a sentence of description..

insert stupid sidestory here about the two guys fighting Gynn and Jappa. The end of which is too obvious to narrate. The two guys get beaten up but don't die, Gynn and Jappa proceed to the main throne room of Glast Heim. The Black Boyar shows them power and defeats them with a show of kamehame-ripoffs. I just love summarial narration; it helps me nurture my laziness.

"You should know there is a reason why throne sounds exactly as thrown," replied the struggling Gynn, "There will always be somebody who will be able to defeat you!"

Jappa fainted another cough and rolled her eyes to some other corner, "Great job, master of the obvious. Otherwise, nobody would want to be in the good side."

"Insolence! You fell for my trap already! All this time I just wanted the perfectly ordinary memento that you have taht isnt so ordinary afterall! I have the perfect plan! Now that I have both your coin is mine, I shall rule the world with the infinite powers our coins produce when combined! Behold the power of THE TWO CENTS!"

Jappa stared at the boyar, "Oh yeah? If you're so different then why is the explanation of this plan of yours so darn short?"

"Since you're gonna die anyway, I'll explain it to you in detail," said the complacent black-haired evil.

"Wait. If we're going die then what's the point of you explaining the plan to us?" replied the confused swordsman.

"JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN!"

Gynn looked at Jappa. The near-naked huntress shrugged and said, "So we can escape, my INT-deprived friend."

The huntress pulled out a precariously placed knife from her belt and freed her hands from the magical ropes I've failed to mention before. She then pulled out something from her sidepocket and pointed it at the Boyar. "Cheers!"

"Hey, how come you have a gun? That's cheating!"

"I got it at EBay, smuggled by some wheeler-dealer at Vital Sign. I knew it would come in handy one day," said the huntress along with a toothed smile, "Nobody ever said guns aren't legal."

"Wait," said the boyar in a fleeting, enigmatic undertone, "Don't you want to know how I turned out to be evil before you kill me?"

Gynn Erik gasped, "Oh, the evil-boss explanation card! He's good." 

Jappa stared at the ceiling for a second as the two waited for her response intently. (They say it helps you think better. Who's 'they', you ask? Dunno.)

"Okay, thought about it. No. I think I'll just kill you now and bring this sad story to it's rightful end," Jappa quickly replied, "and besides, I never did say I was one of those non-killing goodies."

The huntress effortlessly cocked the handgun and playfully trained it at the frozen villain.  
"Clichéd as this might sound, I want to say it anyway as a fanservice to all of my readers, DIE!" 

"Waaait!"

A shout from a familiar voice stopped Jappa Nisako from pulling back the trigger. She looked at the one who interrupted her with disgust.

"What are you doing now, Gynn? Let's just kill him, save the world and avenge our priest!"

"But," Gynn said with an amount of hesitation, "but, HE'S MY FATHER!"

Jappa's jaws dropped wide open, "He's your WHAT?"

Likewise, the Black Boyar looked just as dumbfounded. "I'm you're WHAT?"

"I just know it! I don't know why but I know he's my long lost father! Ay papii!" squealed Gynn as he ran off to hug the evil black-haired man.

"Long lost son!" replied the teary villain.

insert piano music here

A gunshot stopped the whole affair. Jappa had fired the gun in the air, causing one of the people who like to hide in the shadows to drop from the ceiling.

"Ok. This is just ridiculous. I've heard of cheaper plot devices before. But this, this is just plain stupid! I don't even have to be near-naked to realise that this is just a silly attempt to twist the final chapter," said the steamed huntress as she trained her aim once again at the bad guy.

"Wait, Janna.If you're going to shoot him," Gynn dared in a straight tone, "then you'll have to do it after you've shot me too!"

"Hmmm..."

insert more unnecessary space here

Jappa stared at Gynn from head to toe. She shrugged to herself and turn the gun at the surprised swordie, "Okay. But only because you're a good friend of mine "

Bang!

And with that, Gynn fell dead with a nice new hole in his head. What do you mean protagonists cant die? Hey, she's got a gun. I'm no longer in control here. If it were up to me, she wouldn't even be close to be being near-naked (and there'd be no guns in this fic)

"What the poring sound was that all about?" shouted the startled villain.

"Hey, who knows? Evil might be in his genes or something," said Janna as she blew off the trailing smoke from there gun.

"But you didn't even ask. Just so you know, HE'S poring sound ADOPTED, you poring sound maniac!"

"Really? Well now that you've mentioned it, it seems that he didn't get any of your better-looking features... but what's another dead hero anyway?"

"I shall tell you my sad story anyway," replied the Black Boyar as he scooped up the dead swordie's body.

"No."

Bang!

The Black Boyar fell on top of his son's body. It's just amazing what you can do with two birds using a gun than just a stone. Kids, be smart enough. DONT poring sound TRY THIS AT HOME. (try it somewhere else, where you're covered by councilors and insurance or the media)

"This story ends here," said the good-for nothing leading lady who likes to ruin perfect storylines with her smart-alecky comments that does nobody no good.

Bang!

"I've been waiting for the end of the story just to do that. I just hate authors who take their work too personally. Oh, and the ending? I used my head and ruled the kingdom of Midgard under the name King Tristram III of Prontera. The End."

**The End. **

Because the author is too lazy or dull to setup the scene or his brain is on strike again.

If you're still reading this, after all the things that I've written, you have my sincere thanks. And that's no parody.


End file.
